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1-1-6-6In due time
The greenest leaves
Will all begin to brown
And tumble gently to the ground
In every being's life
Everything begins to fade
As they're covered by the shade
Of what destiny begins
As one curtain is drawn closed
A sliver of light shines through
That foreshadows what is next in line
And destiny prepares itself for yet another time
AnxietiesHands over ears, screams hide the tears
Like monsters, they stand around, eerie and cruel
Grotesque and uncontrolled
They drive me to the point of collapse
So I do.
I’m the ground
I shake and tremble and tear everything down
I am the ground
I don’t understand how anyone stays around me
When I’m like this
I’m like a stone
Rolling out of control
Loud and predictable, we all know where I’m going
Down, as sure as water, I will fall
And as a boulder, I will tear down everything in my path
Far AwayI don’t see how you could want anything from me.
I’m cold and I’m gone and I won’t ever be
There for you, even though I know how you
Need me to; it’s what I want too.
But I’m lost in a land far away from all others.
It’s dark and unknown without my sisters and brothers,
So I scream out. Why am I lost in this way?
Why do I watch you all suffer and do nothing every single day?
I know that all that I am to the people around
Is a cruel twister of words who brings everyone down.
That’s all I am to me, at least.
But there are people who stick around this cruel beast.
So I can’t be all that terrible, right?
If so, why do I feel like a pitiably sad sight?
FamilyFamily is perfection, loving and stable
The people you can go to, or just share food at the table
They inspire and they encourage for each to show their best
And they give you a home to come lay down in and rest
Family is a hell, full of pain and confusion
But none of what he does will break mother’s illusion
I cannot buy into the lies that she claims
But it still always hurts to be called the one to blame…
My family is proud, successful and strong
Set up in a way where nothing could ever go wrong
We stand by each other and smile with every new chance
To show our love for each other, and all together dance
There’s a broken bottle on the floor
Its contents flung on the a scratched up door
Mother’s tears are slowly drowning her
And all she can see is a dull grey blur
In the middle, you will find only me
With a brother and a sister, three
My parents are proud of each
For how we practice what we preach
I curl up in my empty room
Covering my ears, I hum a tune
Quietly, GentlyShy smiles and fluttering butterflies,
My heart would beat faster when I looked into your eyes.
Even then, as I held you warmly in my arms,
Every word you said put me under your charm.
Dozing off, I sent you a little smile.
And told you that it’s fine to fall asleep for a while.
When you awoke, the sun was setting for its own time to sleep.
So I pulled you close and breathed in so deep.
Quietly, in the dark, I slowly fell in love.
Gently in my arms, I called you my little dove.
The Moon Cries Too, You KnowThe moon is alone in the sky tonight
Not a single star is showing off its light
My mind wanders as I wonder why
Why the moon wanted the sky
The moon is in pain, did you not know?
Just look at its scars, not including what it will not show
The sun itself cut and burned her skin
So when Luna sets for her night, you’ll know just where she’s been
The moon is alone in the sky tonight
And her loneliness if filling her with fright
Afraid of loneliness and afraid of eternity
Praying that someday, a lover will answer her plea
As I watch her from below, my heart goes out
I will give her a love which she cannot doubt
I will become a star, and I will share the sky
All to let her know that she is always in my eyes.
To Fight the DarkFrom the light in my room,
I see the night outside
As it eats and consumes
On its treacherous ride
Everyone screams and cries
Giving into the night
None ever even try
To be brave for the light
There are those who stand,
I myself am included,
That won’t give into the hand
That won’t ever be deluded
Alone, we fight for days and weeks
Searching for a soul to share the pain
Once found, we can end the days so bleak
Once found, everyone will know our names
Screaming SomethingThere was something about your eyes
That just screamed “Save me!”
If you could only just scream out to.
Everyone to save you from.
There are just so many to save you
From. How I wish I could help.
I tried to look in your eyes and say to you
“Trust me! I can’t stand watching you hate it!
I could never stand watching you hate me!”
But your eyes went blank; I could see how
You stopped to look, no longer searching,
And you glared at me, knowing that I couldn’t
Look at you.
Broken, you watch as my heart is broken,
With a blank face and screaming eyes.
Painful words slither out of your mouth’s
Barely open like the tears that wanted to
Stream down your face, while you scream
Out your hate for the world, instead you
Mutter your hate for me, and I scream instead.
Broken pleas are all I can hear.
Barely BreathingIn this forest, surrounded by the green
We could finally breathe
Away from the mobs and those who were mean
In this calm little forest, I don’t think I’d ever leave
Our home was rotten, and the air was too thick
Mommy and daddy would bicker about everything
You and I, we would never get to pick
We could only dodge the words they would fling
At school, we could only suffocate
Because of the lies we would tell to our friends
I think you agree, there’s no point to debate
That we were dying there; it would have soon been our end
We couldn’t breathe in that empty little place
It closed in and choked us until we had to make a choice
So we escaped at night; we never left a trace
And in our new-found freedom, we could only rejoice
Dreaming of YouEvery night I dream of you
wishing upon a star
that you were here for real
Every night I lay in bed
a dream so wonderful
cause you are in it
I dream of being with you
to grow old together
a day never apart
only you are in my thoughts
A feeling so wonderful
it is in my heart
the love that grows
stronger each day
Every night I think of you
our love is for real
you are always here
I dream of happiness
being with you all the time
a dream so magical
that everything seem so real
you are here with me
keeping me safe
throughout the night
After all it is just a dream
but I promise you
that one day it will be real
So for now I will just dream
of seeing you in sight
cause some day it will happen
that you will be in my arms
AnxietyIcy fingers in my aching gut
Throat swelling completely shut
I lay shake and leak out tears
Unable to escape my fears
I don't even know what they are
The things that have driven me this far
I hold my hand to the burning incense
My only solace in pain intense
The cracking flesh relieves my mind
Helps my anxiety to unwind
ScarsStanding in the shower
Skin turning redder
I stay still and soak it in
This water won't erase my sins
Scars stand out bright white
Burns and cuts all in sight
The real scars cannot be seen
They reside inside of me
I wonder if all I will be
is a creature scarred eternally?
Swing life awayGoodbye my dear old friend
How I wished it did not have to end
How we laughed and sang
Together with the whole gang
Goodbye my dear friend
How I wished that changes that now impend
How we once compared our scars
How we once gazed at the lone stars
Goodbye my friend
How we stood together till the end
How our days were filled with laughter and joy
How you made fun of me being a mama’s boy
Our time was not misspend
We will meet again one day
And we shall swing life away
InsomniaWaking in the dead of night
Wondering about my life
All the things I've left undone
How did things go so wrong
I lay here drenched in sweat
Haunted by the old regrets
Trying to stay awake
Frightened by my dreamscape
Stay up until the dawn
Go to work with face drawn
I struggle on through the day
People curiously glance my way
I finally make my way home
Wait for the cycle to go on
I Can't Sleep.Jealousy overtakes me
To the point where I can’t breathe
But I don’t want to breathe
I’m filled with hate
And I don’t want to be
But I am
And it helps me breathe.
My love is the fuel
To this fire
And for the sake of love
Get me to see the truth
I know the truth
But I can’t think
Emotions never cared about logic
I scream to myself
It has to be me
No one else can help me
I’m stuck in denial
Like a paradox
Now I think I’m okay
But I’m not.
Why can’t I see what you mean?
Why can’t I hear your words?
Why can’t I believe?
Open my eyes…
Make me breathe
In your words
And forget my own
I say to myself.
Silent LoveI see through the windows of your soul
And although the silence has never been broken
And the words have never been spoken
Your eyes tell me all.
I never did feel as comfortable as I did with you
I know you felt good, too.
I won't forget your eyes open wide
To the beauty of a sunset tide.
When I needed you, you were always by my side
In the dark you were my guide
The best friend I could have,
You always had me in awe.
But your eyes, they warned me that friendship is all you could give,
I never thought you wouldn't forgive.
Now I spill my sorrow in room of black
But that won't bring you back.
The silence has been broken
And the words have been spoken
There are bars of steel on windows
And your eyes are telling me nothing at all.
numbersi can watch the shadows shake like my muscles jump and my neurons laugh at the taste, but i'm not sure we agreed to stay and the monster beneath my skin is begging for delay.
i might give it all just a little more time to settle but the next step is explaining to four why twenty-one is crying and seventeen has angry smiles and eighteen is dangling from the rope, engorged with pills, and choking.
something about burning but twenty-one, twenty, and nineteen all love the fire. they all hate the lighter after seventeen, but who knew?
sixteen is confused and tired of playing puppet and fifteen is still trying to find the easiest slice.
fourteen keeps her eyes open but can't accept anything is different, but the way they stopped eating after thirteen is noticeable and someone else's cancer is going to find those missing pounds.
they jumped inside her veins, but that's exactly why she tried to cut them out, and twelve sees forty-two as the end and doesn't know if hiding from him works
Wake up now, my dear old friendWake up now, my dear old friend,
Your daily sleep has reached its end.
Embrace your worldly cares once more
And take one step outside your door;
You’ll find there, waiting for you still,
The tasks and deeds you’ve to fulfill
So do not waste another ray,
Get up, get up and start your day.
You’ll have your sleep again tonight
And when you do, you will sleep tight
But until such times are near,
Get up, wake up, today is here.
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More