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Far AwayI don’t see how you could want anything from me.
I’m cold and I’m gone and I won’t ever be
There for you, even though I know how you
Need me to; it’s what I want too.
But I’m lost in a land far away from all others.
It’s dark and unknown without my sisters and brothers,
So I scream out. Why am I lost in this way?
Why do I watch you all suffer and do nothing every single day?
I know that all that I am to the people around
Is a cruel twister of words who brings everyone down.
That’s all I am to me, at least.
But there are people who stick around this cruel beast.
So I can’t be all that terrible, right?
If so, why do I feel like a pitiably sad sight?
To Fight the DarkFrom the light in my room,
I see the night outside
As it eats and consumes
On its treacherous ride
Everyone screams and cries
Giving into the night
None ever even try
To be brave for the light
There are those who stand,
I myself am included,
That won’t give into the hand
That won’t ever be deluded
Alone, we fight for days and weeks
Searching for a soul to share the pain
Once found, we can end the days so bleak
Once found, everyone will know our names
Quietly, GentlyShy smiles and fluttering butterflies,
My heart would beat faster when I looked into your eyes.
Even then, as I held you warmly in my arms,
Every word you said put me under your charm.
Dozing off, I sent you a little smile.
And told you that it’s fine to fall asleep for a while.
When you awoke, the sun was setting for its own time to sleep.
So I pulled you close and breathed in so deep.
Quietly, in the dark, I slowly fell in love.
Gently in my arms, I called you my little dove.
Screaming SomethingThere was something about your eyes
That just screamed “Save me!”
If you could only just scream out to.
Everyone to save you from.
There are just so many to save you
From. How I wish I could help.
I tried to look in your eyes and say to you
“Trust me! I can’t stand watching you hate it!
I could never stand watching you hate me!”
But your eyes went blank; I could see how
You stopped to look, no longer searching,
And you glared at me, knowing that I couldn’t
Look at you.
Broken, you watch as my heart is broken,
With a blank face and screaming eyes.
Painful words slither out of your mouth’s
Barely open like the tears that wanted to
Stream down your face, while you scream
Out your hate for the world, instead you
Mutter your hate for me, and I scream instead.
Broken pleas are all I can hear.
1-1-6-6In due time
The greenest leaves
Will all begin to brown
And tumble gently to the ground
In every being's life
Everything begins to fade
As they're covered by the shade
Of what destiny begins
As one curtain is drawn closed
A sliver of light shines through
That foreshadows what is next in line
And destiny prepares itself for yet another time
You Ought To KnowNow you ought to know
How much I don’t show
To anyone or anything
Does that have a familiar ring?
Now, I bet you don’t know about my low self-esteem
And I’m sure you couldn’t tell me what it is that I dream
About late at night when everyone else is asleep
Because you’ve never taken time to venture into the deep
But you ought to know what I know
About how you’ve learned to grow
From your own dark past
Like I said, it would never last
I know why you cry all alone
And I know the meaning behind every little groan
I have opened all the doors that you shut so tight
But careful I will be to never let in the light
I think you should know that I am not mad
I just feel that your attitude can make me a bit sad
But this wind between us will not blow me away
Even though I’m upset, know that I’m here to stay.
Escape from the PoisonAn ocean of poison
Has gained hold of me
I've set off to new horizons
With the hope I'll be free
But storms stand in the way of
The escape from this misery
No longer I'll be holden
By the poison of the sea
AnxietiesHands over ears, screams hide the tears
Like monsters, they stand around, eerie and cruel
Grotesque and uncontrolled
They drive me to the point of collapse
So I do.
I’m the ground
I shake and tremble and tear everything down
I am the ground
I don’t understand how anyone stays around me
When I’m like this
I’m like a stone
Rolling out of control
Loud and predictable, we all know where I’m going
Down, as sure as water, I will fall
And as a boulder, I will tear down everything in my path
Give Up/Stay HerePlease give up in your search for me
I have crossed insurmountable seas
Past towering waves and crushing rain
And past the issues in my messed up brain
Do not follow me past this river bend
It is here we should part, and our paths end.
And I don’t care what you say about being together
This is for you, not for me, I’m a burden on your feathers
Selfish boy, just listen to what you say!
Does it matter not what I want at the end of the day?
There is no sea too large to be crossed
My boat will not sink in this ocean of dross
Stop kidding yourself and calling me free
When you lock me up and say it will not be
Come back so I can make your choice something to rue
Come back so I can shout that I love you.
Swing life awayGoodbye my dear old friend
How I wished it did not have to end
How we laughed and sang
Together with the whole gang
Goodbye my dear friend
How I wished that changes that now impend
How we once compared our scars
How we once gazed at the lone stars
Goodbye my friend
How we stood together till the end
How our days were filled with laughter and joy
How you made fun of me being a mama’s boy
Our time was not misspend
We will meet again one day
And we shall swing life away
ScarsStanding in the shower
Skin turning redder
I stay still and soak it in
This water won't erase my sins
Scars stand out bright white
Burns and cuts all in sight
The real scars cannot be seen
They reside inside of me
I wonder if all I will be
is a creature scarred eternally?
InsomniaWaking in the dead of night
Wondering about my life
All the things I've left undone
How did things go so wrong
I lay here drenched in sweat
Haunted by the old regrets
Trying to stay awake
Frightened by my dreamscape
Stay up until the dawn
Go to work with face drawn
I struggle on through the day
People curiously glance my way
I finally make my way home
Wait for the cycle to go on
FightThe fight of the life
The life of the fight
You’ll die tonight
I’ll die tomorrow
You lost your fight
I've gained my sorrow
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger
As time goes by we’re getting older
But we’re getting weaker everyday
In those battles we lost our strength
We fear ourselves cause we are monsters
Though we'll shine brighter than the solstice
And we are beautiful in horrific way
But still getting weaker everyday
We fight because we love
We love that’s why we fight
We will remain in shining glory
In the name of war and endless sorrow
And we’ll be fighting for immortal life
Fighting till the end, until we all die…
numbersi can watch the shadows shake like my muscles jump and my neurons laugh at the taste, but i'm not sure we agreed to stay and the monster beneath my skin is begging for delay.
i might give it all just a little more time to settle but the next step is explaining to four why twenty-one is crying and seventeen has angry smiles and eighteen is dangling from the rope, engorged with pills, and choking.
something about burning but twenty-one, twenty, and nineteen all love the fire. they all hate the lighter after seventeen, but who knew?
sixteen is confused and tired of playing puppet and fifteen is still trying to find the easiest slice.
fourteen keeps her eyes open but can't accept anything is different, but the way they stopped eating after thirteen is noticeable and someone else's cancer is going to find those missing pounds.
they jumped inside her veins, but that's exactly why she tried to cut them out, and twelve sees forty-two as the end and doesn't know if hiding from him works
Dreaming of YouEvery night I dream of you
wishing upon a star
that you were here for real
Every night I lay in bed
a dream so wonderful
cause you are in it
I dream of being with you
to grow old together
a day never apart
only you are in my thoughts
A feeling so wonderful
it is in my heart
the love that grows
stronger each day
Every night I think of you
our love is for real
you are always here
I dream of happiness
being with you all the time
a dream so magical
that everything seem so real
you are here with me
keeping me safe
throughout the night
After all it is just a dream
but I promise you
that one day it will be real
So for now I will just dream
of seeing you in sight
cause some day it will happen
that you will be in my arms
AnxietyIcy fingers in my aching gut
Throat swelling completely shut
I lay shake and leak out tears
Unable to escape my fears
I don't even know what they are
The things that have driven me this far
I hold my hand to the burning incense
My only solace in pain intense
The cracking flesh relieves my mind
Helps my anxiety to unwind
Silent LoveI see through the windows of your soul
And although the silence has never been broken
And the words have never been spoken
Your eyes tell me all.
I never did feel as comfortable as I did with you
I know you felt good, too.
I won't forget your eyes open wide
To the beauty of a sunset tide.
When I needed you, you were always by my side
In the dark you were my guide
The best friend I could have,
You always had me in awe.
But your eyes, they warned me that friendship is all you could give,
I never thought you wouldn't forgive.
Now I spill my sorrow in room of black
But that won't bring you back.
The silence has been broken
And the words have been spoken
There are bars of steel on windows
And your eyes are telling me nothing at all.
With or Without YouYou have been standing there behind this glass for a long time
I see you standing there, wanting to be free
Wanting to be free from your own situations
I see you waiting there for me to return
Nothing more than an emotionless face
Just starring there, a glare of emptiness
Now, only if I can make a smile
Only if you can believe me that I still care about you
Only if you can believe me that try my best to cherish you
Only if you can believe me that we can make this work
Look deep, down in your heart
There is pain that you have
Pain that is unbearable but you still carry it
But it is neither a pain of misery nor a pain of sadness
It is a pain of missing, to be without
It can't be irreplaceable
All you have is hope, hope that something will change
A burden to be lifted, no let it be found by joy and richness of others around you
To be fulfill with me
So I put my hand the glass, gently yours comes up too
I feel that you are so close but yet so far away
Looking at your long black hair, your
five hour energyi suppose
last week was only an aftershock
of the earthquake you were before.
this place used to vibrate
with metal strings and melodic,
testimonies to life,
emitting coffee-scented moods
and the burn of it too.
i had memorized the
sounds of silence,
i couldn't help but relish it.
no longer had i known
the sounds of folk
and scent of mocha-
you became nothing more
than an echo of the laughter
i so desperately needed to hear again.
then the echoes got louder,
bouncing ferociously off the walls
to be made manifest
i walked into your room
expecting exactly what i found-
an unmade bed,
and an empty beer
(the one that you insisted you needed
just days ago).
i pressed my nose
into the pillow
for incense and cologne and starbucks
to penetrate my mind
and thinking fervently
i already know
what a clean sheet smells like."
how strong an aftershock can be,
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More